The Moment I Realized I Was Building the Wrong Life
Let me tell you a quick story.
A few years ago, I was sitting on a beach in Thailand.
The kind you see on postcards.
White sand. Turquoise water. Coconut in hand.
And I was miserable.
Sounds weird, right?
But here’s the truth: I wasn’t escaping to paradise.
I was escaping my life.
A calendar full of “obligations.”
A business that felt more like a prison.
A schedule that ran me instead of the other way around.
It hit me hard:
I’d built a life I couldn’t wait to take vacations from.
That’s when everything changed.
Because it finally dawned on me:
Real freedom isn’t found on beaches. It’s found in your days.
Let’s Get Real About What “Success” Really Means
We’ve all been sold a story.
That hustle equals glory.
That busyness equals importance.
That success looks like late nights, urgent emails, and never-ending to-do lists.
But here’s the truth no one tells you:
Most people don’t want to be rich.
They want to feel in control.
They want:
- Time to think
- Space to breathe
- Work that lights them up
- Days that feel like themselves, not someone else’s demands
If you’re honest, you don’t need millions.
You just need enough to never have to check your bank app before ordering lunch.
You need structure that supports your energy.
You need freedom to live life on your terms.
Step 1: Audit the Life You’re Actually Living
Pause.
Ask yourself:
“Am I building a life I enjoy, or one I just tolerate?”
Let’s break this down.
Look at your calendar.
Is it full of stuff you “have to” do, or stuff you want to do?
Look at your income streams.
Are you earning in ways that feel aligned, or are you selling time for stress?
Look at your mornings.
Do they feel calm and intentional, or chaotic and reactive?
Look at your Sundays.
Do they bring dread or excitement?
Be radically honest.
Because you can’t design a better life if you’re lying about the one you have.
Step 2: Define What a “Designed Life” Looks Like For You
Forget what the internet says.
You don’t need:
- A yacht
- A 7-figure launch
- A morning routine that starts at 4am
You need clarity on your version of a good life.
Ask yourself:
- How do I want to feel when I wake up?
- What work feels like play to me?
- How much money do I actually need to live well and save?
- What kind of people energize me?
- Where do I do my best thinking?
Your answers become your blueprint.
It’s not about fantasy.
It’s about intention.
You can build a life that feels like yours—but only if you define it.
Step 3: Build Income Around Your Energy, Not Just Your Effort
Most people create businesses that consume them.
They build 60-hour/week monsters.
They become the bottleneck.
They trade their soul for scale.
But here’s the shift:
Don’t build to grow. Build to live.
That means:
- Income streams that don’t demand your presence 24/7
- Clients and customers who energize you
- Products or services that scale without killing your calendar
You want wealth systems, not just busywork.
Maybe that’s digital products.
Maybe it’s a high-ticket offer with boundaries.
Maybe it’s affiliate income or tiny courses.
The key is this:
You earn money in a way that respects your energy.
Because freedom without energy is just exhaustion in disguise.
Step 4: Design Your Days Like You’re Already Free
This one’s subtle… but powerful.
You don’t wait to feel free. You act free now.
That doesn’t mean you ignore responsibilities.
It means you build choice into your day.
Even 15 minutes of freedom can start rewiring your brain.
Try this:
- Block off 1 hour for “creator time” every morning (before reacting to the world)
- Walk without your phone
- Delete one thing you dread from your week
- Say no to a “maybe”
- Build margin between meetings
The small stuff? It compounds.
You stop living in reaction.
You start living in design.
Step 5: Make Joy a Metric of Success
Read that again.
Make joy a metric.
Here’s what I track weekly—more than revenue:
- Did I laugh deeply at least 3 times?
- Did I spend meaningful time offline?
- Did I create something just for the joy of it?
- Did I rest without guilt?
- Did I feel aligned with my work?
Because what’s the point of building a business…
…if it comes at the cost of your spirit?
Step 6: Protect Your Freedom Like It’s Sacred (Because It Is)
When you start designing a life on purpose, watch what happens.
People will want pieces of it.
“Can I pick your brain?”
“Just one quick call.”
“Let’s jump on Zoom real quick.”
And little by little, your calendar will fill with things that don’t move you forward.
So here’s the rule:
If it’s not a full-body yes, it’s a no.
Protect your calendar like it holds your future.
Because it does.
Create rules for:
- When you check email
- How clients can reach you
- What you say yes to
- How you schedule meetings (or don’t)
Boundaries are not barriers.
They’re the blueprint of a designed life.
Journal This: A Few Hard-Hitting Questions for You
Take some time this week—phone off, pen in hand—and reflect:
- What parts of my current life feel like an escape plan?
(What am I enduring, not enjoying?) - If I could only work 3 hours/day, what would I focus on?
(What’s the 80/20 of your joy and profit?) - What would my ideal Monday look like—hour by hour?
(Design your freedom first.) - What am I afraid to let go of, even though it’s draining me?
(Clients, habits, income streams, identities…) - If I could earn the same, but live 10x better… what would change?
(Schedule? Offers? Location? Audience?)
These are the questions that start revolutions.
Quiet ones.
Intentional ones.
The kind that reshape your future.
Final Words: You’re Not Lazy. You’re Misaligned.
If you’re feeling burnt out, stuck, tired, or bored—it’s not because you’re lazy.
You’re likely just living someone else’s plan.
It’s time to trade hustle for harmony.
Busy for balanced.
Money-only for meaning-also.
Because the truth is this:
You don’t need to escape your life if you design one you love.
And it starts right now.
Not after the next client.
Not after the next launch.
Not “someday.”