Stopped performing is more than quitting a show—it’s reclaiming yourself. When I realized I was performing for approval, not teaching from truth, my business felt like a stage, and I was exhausted.
Let’s start with the moment it broke.
I was on a live Zoom training. A few hundred people watching. My camera was on. The slides were clean. The script was tight.
I was saying all the “right” things.
But I felt fake.
Not because I was lying.
But because I was performing.
I wasn’t teaching, I was proving.
Proving I was still relevant.
Proving I was still crushing it.
Proving I still deserved the six-figure clients, the likes, the respect.
And that day, I realized something painfully true:
You can’t feel free when you’re performing for approval.
Table of Contents
The Prison of Performance
The business wasn’t a business anymore.
It was a stage.
Every post, podcast, offer — even my personality — was shaped by one question:
“Will they like this?”
Not:
“Does this feel true?”
“Do I love this?”
“Is this mine?”
Just: “Will it perform?”
The pressure to be on all the time was suffocating.
Behind the scenes?
- I was rewriting captions 12 times before posting
- Holding back offers because they weren’t “sexy enough”
- Smiling on sales calls when I wanted to say “this isn’t a fit”
- Saying yes to interviews when I needed a damn nap
It wasn’t authenticity.
It was acting.
I finally stopped performing for the crowd.
Ask Yourself (Seriously):
- Where in your business are you performing right now?
- What would you stop doing if you didn’t fear being forgotten?
I Built a Business Around a Persona
And it worked. Oh, did it work.
- Clients? Lined up.
- Courses? Selling.
- Metrics? Great.
- Reputation? Solid.
But it all came at a cost:
I became a stranger to myself.
See, the longer you wear the mask, the more it sticks.
You don’t even know it’s a mask anymore. You just call it “strategy.”
You think you’re optimizing. But really? You’re hiding.
When I stopped performing, everything changed.
The Day I Snapped (In a Good Way)
It happened mid-launch.
The numbers were fine. The ads were converting. My team was thrilled.
And I was miserable.
One afternoon, I closed the laptop mid-email, walked to the kitchen, and stared out the window for about twenty minutes.
No phone. No podcast. Just silence.
Then I whispered out loud:
“I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Not “I don’t want to coach.”
Not “I don’t want to sell.”
Not “I don’t want to lead.”
I just didn’t want to pretend.
That moment saved me.
I realized I had stopped performing what felt real.
What I Did Next (The De-Performance Pivot)
1. I Said No (A Lot)
I emailed three podcast hosts and cancelled.
I postponed a launch.
I told a prospect, “I’m not the best fit for what you need — and that’s okay.”
Each “no” gave me a breath back.
2. I Burned the Script
I stopped trying to sound like a guru.
I started writing how I actually speak.
Less positioning. More humanity.
And funny enough? My audience grew faster.
People weren’t connecting to the performance.
They were waiting for me.
3. I Created Offers That Felt Like Me
No more pressure-packed programs designed to look “premium.”
Just real solutions for people I actually liked, using methods I enjoyed teaching.
And you know what happened?
The more me I became, the more money showed up.
The less I tried to “perform,” the more resonance I created.
Harvard Business Review highlights that authentic leadership leads to better relationships, higher trust, and greater productivity
The Freedom of Being Unapologetically You
Here’s what changed:
- I work less — with more energy.
- I sell more — with more alignment.
- I create easier — because there’s nothing to prove.
- I rest deeply — because there’s no pressure to perform tomorrow.
This isn’t some spiritual cliché. This is strategy.
Because the most scalable thing in your business is your truth.
Pretending burns energy.
Performing steals presence.
Authenticity multiplies momentum.
Reflection Time:
- What are you saying “yes” to that’s not aligned — just accepted?
- If you stopped performing today, what would actually change in your business?
- Who would you be if you weren’t trying to be liked?
You Don’t Need to Be a Personality
Let’s get honest:
You don’t need to “build a brand” that boxes you in.
You don’t need to dance for the algorithm.
You don’t need to play the expert 24/7.
People don’t need your persona.
They need your permission.
To simplify. To soften. To be human.
And you can’t give it if you don’t give it to yourself first.
New Business Rules I Live By Now
1. Quiet is a Power Move
I don’t post daily. I don’t reply instantly. I don’t overexplain.
I’m not a performer. I’m a professional.
2. Less “Wow,” More “Why”
If I can’t explain what I do in a single sentence to a real person — it’s too complex.
Clarity beats charisma every time.
3. Safe Doesn’t Sell — Real Does
No one’s inspired by perfection.
They’re moved by truth.
Even messy, unfinished, unfiltered truth.
Final Question: Who Are You Without the Performance?
What if today, you took off the costume?
- Spoke like yourself
- Posted without polish
- Created what you wanted instead of what would trend
- Stopped “overdelivering” out of fear
- Trusted your value as a person, not a persona
Would your business collapse?
Or would it finally feel like yours?
You Get to Redesign the Rules
Let this be the moment you drop the act.
Freedom isn’t found at the end of a funnel.
It’s found in coming home to yourself — and building a business that fits.
One you don’t have to perform to maintain.
One that scales because of your truth — not in spite of it.
Want Help Reclaiming You?
DM me the word REAL and I’ll send you my:
✅ “No More Performance” Business Reset
✅ Offer Clarity Checklist
✅ Alignment-First Marketing Framework
✅ Content Prompts That Don’t Feel Like Acting
Because freedom isn’t a number. It’s a decision.
And for me?
Freedom came when I stopped performing.
Now it’s your turn.