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Stop caring what other people think isn’t about recklessness—it’s about reclaiming your focus. Obsession, flow, and a game‑like mindset power you forward when you’re tuned into your purpose.
Why caring what others think is killing your focus, and how obsession, flow, and a game-like mindset can make you unstoppable.
As a kid, I was obsessed with video games.
I remember begging my mom to buy me my first rated M game — Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. All my friends were playing it, and I had to join the ranks. She caved. I spent my nights slamming Dr. Peppers, cursing in the pre-game lobby, and staying up ’till 2 AM — only to wake up an hour before school to squeeze in one more match.
You could call me addicted. But really… I was obsessed.
Eventually, I built my first PC — and a whole new world of games opened up. League of Legends, World of Warcraft, you name it. For nearly 5 years, I was glued to my screen every night (after hitting the gym, of course — it was my “reward”).
Now, I’m not here to tell you to quit gaming. I made it out just fine. In fact, I see it as a net benefit to my life.
Because obsession, when used correctly, is a superpower.
Learning how to stop caring what other people think unlocks your true focus.
Why We Get Obsessed in the First Place
Here’s why we get hooked on games (and everything else):
➡️ The mind craves order.
It hates chaos.
That’s why we chase goals — daily, weekly, yearly. Whether consciously or not, we’re always trying to create mental order.
Workplaces assign goals to reduce uncertainty. Political leaders sell you on a vision to win your vote. Marketers do it to get your attention and wallet.
Want to make it even more powerful? Wrap it in a story.
Humans understand everything through story:
- There’s a setting.
- Then the rising action.
- A conflict.
- The hero’s journey.
- And resolution.
When we don’t understand something, our brain fills in the blanks. That’s called an assumption — and it’s usually based on your past experiences, not reality. It becomes a distraction from what actually matters.
Obsession is the brain trying to complete the story. It wants to uncover what came before and what happens next.
To truly advance, you must stop caring what other people think and invest energy into your mission.
Obsession = Superpower (If You Point It Right)
Arnold.
Disney.
Elon.
Rogan.
They didn’t care what people thought. Why? Because they were too obsessed with their mission.
Obsession = clarity.
Obsession = focus.
Obsession = what most call “flow.”
“To make an original contribution, you have to be irrationally obsessed with something.” — Naval Ravikant
So the question is… what story do you want to understand?
What iceberg has only shown you its tip — and left you wanting more?
For me, it was a 2-part Alan Watts lecture titled You Are God.
It was wild. It made no sense.
So I dove into it. Listened 10+ times. Connected the dots to other teachings. It makes sense to me.
I still don’t fully understand it — but that’s the fun in it. Obsession is a never-ending iceberg.
It’s time to stop caring what other people think—their opinions don’t define your path.
1. mindbodygreen: 4 Steps to Stop Caring So Much About What Others Think
2 Science-Backed Ways to Obsess In The Right Direction
1. Kotler’s 5 Intrinsic Drivers
- Curiosity
- Passion
- Purpose
- Autonomy
- Mastery
Follow curiosity → develop passion → find purpose.
“Follow your obsessions until a problem starts to emerge — a big, meaty, challenging problem that impacts as many people as possible — that you feel hellbent to solve or die trying.” — Justine Musk
That’s what I did.
I’m obsessed with ending human suffering.
So I study philosophy, business, spirituality… and I teach it.
Random opinions mean nothing to me — because I have purpose. And that’s the key.
When you begin to stop caring what other people think, you reclaim your attention and clarity.
2. Csikszentmihalyi’s Flow Model
You need:
- A clear goal
- A path to achieve it
- A challenge that matches your current skill
If you’re bored? Increase the challenge.
If you’re anxious? Increase your skill.
Do both through focused self-education.
One key shift is learning to stop caring what other people think, so outside judgment no longer holds sway.
Create The Game You Actually Want To Play
Games give us structure. Rules. Objectives. Rewards.
That’s why we love them.
Everything in life is a game — if you choose to see it that way.
Social media, business, confidence, self-improvement, fitness — it’s all a structured quest.
So build a game worth playing.
Create a world worth living in.
And stop playing games you never wanted to be in.
When you’re focused on your game, distractions vanish.
Opinions disappear.
Insecurity dies.
Create Your Reality
Reality = Perception × Perspective.
Most people walk around with a dusty lens and a locked tripod.
They never move the camera, let alone clean the lens.
Let’s say you’re in a coffee shop. You see someone attractive.
What does your mind do?
“What if she rejects me?”
“What if people see?”
“What if she has a boyfriend?”
All of it is fear. False stories.
No one will care in 5 seconds. And you’ll never see them again.
Same with posting online.
You’re scared of a comment? A “dweeb” emoji? From someone whose life is probably falling apart?
Zoom out. Regain perspective. Create the story YOU want to live in.
Create Your Character
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” — Carl Jung
In every game, you create your character.
So… who’s your character in real life?
- What does your maxed-out character look like?
- What are their strengths and skills?
- What kind of gold (💰) do they earn?
- What mission are they on?
If you want to stop playing society’s game — win it first.
Once you have leverage, you can do whatever the hell you want.
Write Your Story
If life was a novel, what chapter are you in?
- Are you the hero or the background NPC?
- What’s the conflict you’re overcoming?
- Are you playing to win — or to help others win too?
“Happiness is the feeling that power increases – that resistance is being overcome.” — Nietzsche
Meaning is found in the battle. In the resistance. In the rise.
So stop worrying about being judged in one paragraph of your story.
Zoom out. Keep writing.
How To Win The Game
- Learn the rules
- Set your goals
- Play hard
- Earn XP
- Max your character
Everything else is noise.
You either play the game — or get played by the game.
And the only way to stop playing… is to win. 🎯🔥